After I crashed in early March I was certain I would be back in full swing by now but had to realize during the past weeks that it might still be a long time till I can really resume training. I have heard the word PATIENCE about a million times in the past seven weeks and got to say that I am hitting the wall and just want to get back as quick as possible.
The first 10 days after the crash passed fairly fast as I was so out of it that I pretty much slept 18h a day and for the short periods I was awake I mainly sat in a dark room with no noise around me as I was just not able to handle anything else. At least I had good company from Sophie during this time as she guarded my bed like never before. I guess that was a sign that I was in pretty bad shape and she felt it.
I tried to get on the bike about 10 days after the crash to see where I stand but had to realize that I wasn’t able to even roll around the field. I got nauseous and my eyes could just not handle the speed so I went back home into the cave to recover from 30min outside. I was able to take the dogs on some walks and those walks pretty much kept me sane during the 5 weeks after the crash. I am pretty good at resting during the season but this injury is for sure testing me as I wasn’t even able to watch TV, be on the computer or be social in public…..everything seemed to be to much to handle in one way or another and as I heard so many horror stories about concussion I thought the best way to get better is to really stay away from it all and hoping I make it back quicker because of it!
I have gotten better over the past weeks but being on the bike right now is not called riding in my definition. I pretty roll around and reaching 2h last weeks was a little victory for me. Pretty scary to say that this was huge as I feel so far away from the days when I was an athlete.
Being in Sea Otter was for sure good for my mind as it meant I could be around bike riders and soak in the vibe. I although felt a bit more alive as the days were busier then in the past weeks but they again made me realize I am not good yet as I had some relapse in symptoms from using my “little” brain a bit to much. In those moments I do have to remind myself of how lucky I am that I was able to walk away from that crash as the TV footage shows me more dead then alive on the ground. It does put this long road of recovery in perspective.
I am really appreciative of all the support the team and the girls have given me as I know I would probably have hit the wall harder without them or I would have started to early and putting myself in danger health wise. Outside support has poured in as well and I am grateful for every little bit as it just helps staying PATIENT.
I will be meeting a concussion specialist tomorrow here in the Bay Area and have some more input on where I stand and on how much exercise I can actually built into the next weeks. Hopefully I might be able to get a bit more off a time line as that will make it easier to be PATIENT. I would say the no time line on this injury has been the hardest part of it. It is ok to rest and get better but not knowing when I will be better is rough.